Barely surviving.

I'd like to say that I'm nailing small animal medicine. It would be awesome if I could actually function, too, on medicine. But neither of those things seem to be happening.

The only thing I've got going for me is my practical skills (thank you, VCA, for helping me gain those prior to vet school. Being able to get a catheter in first try and being able to jugular stick a cat are two of my coveted skills) and my professionalism. And maybe my pretty face, but that's pushing it.

I just feel like every step I take in this rotation is a misstep. I swear, I know things. I really do. But when I try to open my mouth and say it, it comes out in a garbled mess and I look (and feel) like a complete doofus. Seriously. I know plasma lactate elevations occur with hypoxemia and endotoxemia. I really do (although I didn't know that you can get false elevations with ethylene glycol toxicity, which is a good fact to know).

I'd like to be able to demonstrate the knowledge I've got swirling around in my brain. But the combination of 13-16 hour days and not enough water and never enough caffeine (there is not enough caffeine in the world) are making my brain has the dumb.

Next week, we've all been told to up our game on the knowledge front. So basically, I need to know all the things.

Excuse me while I go attempt to (physically) cram the entirety of Small Animal Internal Medicine by Ettinger into my brain.