14 August 2014

Survival

So I didn't quite survive finals round 1. I managed to do really well on everything except the OSCE portion. I missed out by one station and unfortunately was not able to graduate in July with the rest of my class. 

I can't really describe the ups and downs that come with a failure like this. I've never really failed at anything in my life, and to do it at something this important and this big was a huge blow, not only to my ego, but to my confidence as well. Which, at the start of an internship, is a horrible combination. 

I'm not going to lie, it's been a tough month since results came out. I'm still wobbling a little to find my center again. But if there is anything good about this, it is the support that I received after realizing that I wouldn't get my degree (yet!!) or graduate in July. My friends from school and outside of school were (and still are) super supportive; I can never say enough how lucky I am to have these people in my life. Not only that, I could not have asked for more support or understanding from my employers. Getting the news was tough, but realizing that it could lose me my position as an intern was heartbreaking. But my employers couldn't have cared less. Of course, they're concerned because I have to take so much time off to fly back and prepare/take the exam again. But their value and opinion of me did not change, which was (to be completely truthful) more than I expected. 

So, in the end, I'm still an intern, I'm still doing what I love (even more now than ever, despite sometimes having feelings otherwise), and I'm going to go back in September, kick this exam's ass, and say goodbye to RVC for good. I've had such a great time at the school, but this whole business has left a bitter taste in my mouth. I'm sure it will mellow as the years go by, but right now it's still too fresh. 

Thanks for reading. I hope that, if you come across this blog because you're thinking of going to the RVC, you seriously consider it. Great school, great professors (mostly), and they're only improving the way they do things. My experience is mine alone, and hopefully yours will be better.