10 months ago...the VMCAS application opened. I was convinced that I would not get in to vet school. I was terrified. But I got it all done.
7 months ago...I submitted my application. I did it on Wednesday 9/9/2009 at 9pm. NOT on purpose, actually. I was in a bad place because I had just lost an uncle, and I needed to finish it before I forgot about it. So before I could forget about it, I triple checked it and said "F*ck it", sent it off and paid for it.
5 months ago...I was having a crappy week. I checked my email on my blackberry at 7:30am in the morning and almost cried when I read the invite from RVC to interview. I had to read it twice before I believed it. And then I read it again to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I remember getting out of bed and going into the dining room and telling my dad "Holy shit...I got an interview at Royal Veterinary College." I also ended up getting a promotion at work that day. I started loving Wednesdays.
3 months ago...I was freaking out about my interview. I was so worked up that after hand-steaming my interview outfit, I left it at work. Interview was on a Wednesday (seriously, good things happen on Wednesdays...) and immediately after, was told that they were offering places verbally to exceptional students and that I was one of those exceptional students. My sister said that she heard me squeal from the next room over. I deny that said squeal took place (but I was so blissfully ecstatic I could be wrong).
2 months ago...I got my email offer.
1 month ago...I got my packet in the mail.
2 weeks ago...I sent off my acceptance and payment information on a rainy Monday afternoon.
Now, all I can think about is that in 5 months exactly, I will be in the UK starting to realize a dream I've had since I was 9 years old. How many people actually get to SAY that?? I mean, yes. I will miss The States. I will miss my family deeply, and I'm terrified because I will miss very important things (like weddings, births, family events, etc). What if I don't fit in? What if I hate it? And, most importantly (and the scariest)...what if I can't do it? What if I get there, start the program and fail? I'm not equipped to handle failure. But what if I just can't do it?
I know this is normal to go through, but it's not like undergrad. I KNEW I could get into undergrad, and I knew that I would be able to get a degree. Piece of cake. But this is so completely different. This is what my life has been inching towards since I first opened that James Herriot book. What happens if I can't do it and then have no direction?
Sigh. I need to stop thinking so much. And ruminating over this. I got in. I'm going. I'm going to live it, breathe it and kick ass at doing it.
God, I'm a whiney bitch. But I have to get these insecurities out in order to get over them, yeah?