10 months ago...the VMCAS application opened. I was convinced that I would not get in to vet school. I was terrified. But I got it all done.
7 months ago...I submitted my application. I did it on Wednesday 9/9/2009 at 9pm. NOT on purpose, actually. I was in a bad place because I had just lost an uncle, and I needed to finish it before I forgot about it. So before I could forget about it, I triple checked it and said "F*ck it", sent it off and paid for it.
5 months ago...I was having a crappy week. I checked my email on my blackberry at 7:30am in the morning and almost cried when I read the invite from RVC to interview. I had to read it twice before I believed it. And then I read it again to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I remember getting out of bed and going into the dining room and telling my dad "Holy shit...I got an interview at Royal Veterinary College." I also ended up getting a promotion at work that day. I started loving Wednesdays.
3 months ago...I was freaking out about my interview. I was so worked up that after hand-steaming my interview outfit, I left it at work. Interview was on a Wednesday (seriously, good things happen on Wednesdays...) and immediately after, was told that they were offering places verbally to exceptional students and that I was one of those exceptional students. My sister said that she heard me squeal from the next room over. I deny that said squeal took place (but I was so blissfully ecstatic I could be wrong).
2 months ago...I got my email offer.
1 month ago...I got my packet in the mail.
2 weeks ago...I sent off my acceptance and payment information on a rainy Monday afternoon.
Now, all I can think about is that in 5 months exactly, I will be in the UK starting to realize a dream I've had since I was 9 years old. How many people actually get to SAY that?? I mean, yes. I will miss The States. I will miss my family deeply, and I'm terrified because I will miss very important things (like weddings, births, family events, etc). What if I don't fit in? What if I hate it? And, most importantly (and the scariest)...what if I can't do it? What if I get there, start the program and fail? I'm not equipped to handle failure. But what if I just can't do it?
I know this is normal to go through, but it's not like undergrad. I KNEW I could get into undergrad, and I knew that I would be able to get a degree. Piece of cake. But this is so completely different. This is what my life has been inching towards since I first opened that James Herriot book. What happens if I can't do it and then have no direction?
Sigh. I need to stop thinking so much. And ruminating over this. I got in. I'm going. I'm going to live it, breathe it and kick ass at doing it.
...
God, I'm a whiney bitch. But I have to get these insecurities out in order to get over them, yeah?
Lei, I completely understand everything you're feeling. Same boat, here. I don't know what the passing/failing cut off is at RVC, but I think the best thing to do is to alter our academic attitudes now. We've spent our entire academic lives being told and believing that the highest grades are the only acceptable grades. That an A is good, a B is horrible. But remember that a vet who got Bs and Cs is still a vet. You can do this! You aren't going to fail out because it is your dream! And you will make tons of friends, and you will get to travel all over Europe in your free time (hahaha....). And I will try desperately to come visit you. We can be pen pals and make it through vet school together.
ReplyDelete<3 Melissa
PS: I am thinking of starting a vet school blog but I have zero title ideas and currently nothing to say. ^_^
Thank you!! Glad I'm not the only one with all these insecurities. <3 RVC just has big end of year exams that you can retake only once if you fail. And yes, you must come visit me. And start a blog. They're fun. :D
ReplyDelete