26 June 2010

Panic Switch

Have you ever gotten a panicky feeling when looking at a checklist that you thought you were prepared for but one look at that damn checklist you realize how far behind you are?

I did. Today, in the middle of work for no good reason. I received the electronic version of my 2010 Welcome Pack today via email from the RVC. At first, I was ecstatic. On the good side, I've gotten a complete schedule of my pre-sessional course (there is time set aside every morning for coffee and now I love the RVC even more). I also learned that there is a black tie cruise on the Thames during freshers week (the first week of school for first years, v. cool) and that gives me a good excuse to get a nice dress, or at least give me a good kick in the butt to get all my dresses dry-cleaned. But as I was reading, I more or less got more anxious about moving to a different country. I mean, I've been worried about it anyway, just because it's my nature to worry. But it came to a fever pitch. Did you know that you need your acceptance letter when you arrive at the airport? And it's required for my visa application. I have two letters: one that states that I'm offered a place on the course and one that thanks me for accepting my place on the course (I'm assuming the latter is what they're talking about). Gah, do I even know where they both are?

So while at work, I usually have a few minutes to obsess about one thing or another in between customers. During this mini-obsess session, a wave of panic overtook me out of nowhere. How was I to afford the pre-sessional fee? What about a bank account? How long will it take me to open one up and deposit my loan check? Holy crap, what if I don't get enough in loans? What if I lose my birth certificate...or worse, my visa?

An innocent customer took me out of this little panic attack (thankfully no one noticed) and it left my mind until I got home and had time to relax. And here I am. Sitting at my computer. Looking at the RVC pack again. Glutton for punishment, I suppose. I need to somehow condition my brain to stop over-thinking. If anyone figures out how, let me know. I'll pay for the knowledge.

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